I really wanted it to be you Barry
by Kpolk87
Summary: My take on the event's after episode 19 " Who is Harrison Wells." Barry know's something is wrong with Caitlin and finds out about the kiss.


**I wanted it to really be you Barry.**

-  
Author: kpolk817  
Twitter: kpolk817  
Summary: My take on the events after episode 19!

Big Shout out to Caitlin51 on for beta reading my story! Go check out her page and read her work! It's amazing!

Rubbing his eyes after what seemed like one of the longest days in recent memory, Barry threw down his pen, glad to finally be done for the night. The rest of the work could be done in the morning, he thought to himself.

Ever since the events at Star Labs, he could feel Caitlin's eyes on him, and that told him that something was wrong. She seemed suddenly so nervous around him, kind of like she was afraid to let him get close to her. It had been a long day for everyone, but Caitlin had probably had the worst reaction to everything that had happened.

Barry could hear her pecking away at her laptop keyboard. She insisted that she wanted to run the test on the body Joe and Cisco had dug up another time, since she wanted to make sure that the body before them was indeed the real Harrison Wells.

Lost in his train of thought, Barry's mind kept going back to the conversation he'd had with Caitlin on the bridge earlier that evening. Had he been selfish? He had never thought about the ramifications of his actions and what sort of effect they could cause on her life. At times he felt like he still ran head first into things without thinking.

Did Caitlin really feel like everything she had done with the team, and at Star Labs would be a lie? All the good the team did, the people they saved, the families that felt protected because of them. That could never be a lie, and Barry knew that Caitlin had done so many wonderful things since they met. Things that people would never know of, things they would never get credit for by the public, but he knew about them. Barry always thought that was enough for the both of them.

He shook his head realizing immediately that that wasn't it. They didn't do this for the glory, they did it because it was the right thing to do and they could make a difference in this world. It had to be something else. Had Bates done something? Did he hurt her and she didn't tell him? It was possible, but it didn't explain why she was so nervous around him.

His train of thought was broken by a few mumbles and the sound of Caitlin pushing away her work laptop, all which snapped him back to reality. Looking up, he made contact with Caitlin who now had tears in her eyes.

He wanted to rush to her and tell her that things would be alright.

"How could he do this Barry? He is supposed to be a GOOD man. I've run the stupid test three times, and for all three the same result is a 99.8% match for a Harrison Wells from Starling City. Just who the hell have we been working for all this time? The lies, the betrayals of everyone, Cisco's dreams where Dr. Wells kills him. This is way too much to handle, and I don't know what to do or who to trust anymore. When did our lives get turned upside down like this?" Caitlin asked as she wiped away the tears with her shirt's sleeve.

As Barry took a step towards her, Caitlin threw up a hand telling him to please stop. " Please Barry, please don't. It's been a really bad day, and I just wanna go home."

"Home isn't exactly the best place now Caitlin, Joe is working a night-shift trying to get more answers and Cisco is already at my place. We told him it's best if he stays there and I want you to as well." Barry said, running his hands through his hair.

Knowing there was no point in fighting this matter Caitlin simply gave in and went with it on one condition.

"Can we walk to your place? I could really use the fresh air and the walk might allow me to take things in."

"Sure thing Cait, If that's what you wanna do we can walk. No super speed I promise."

"Thanks now just let me get my things, And I'll meet you downstairs ok?"

"Ok, I'll see you in the lobby."

Barry could tell something wasn't right still, as they had walked a few blocks, and not a word had been spoken between the two. Caitlin was avoiding him and contact with him like he had the plague. By this point, Barry had had enough - he was going to figure out what was going on.

"Ok Caitlin, what gives? Did I offend you? Upset you maybe? I want you to know that no matter what happens and what you have done it hasn't been a lie. It's affected the lives of so many people and families in this city even if they don't know it."

"Barry it's not that, okay?" Caitlin said, looking away to avoid eye contact.

"Then what is it? Why are you so jumpy and nervous around me all of a sudden? I know this is a lot to take in, but please know you can trust me, and I'll always be there for you. So please Cait don't push me away, not now." Barry said with true concern in his voice.

"I'm sorry ok, it's just something happened, and I'm not sure how I am supposed to feel about it or the fact that it's made me view things differently, but in a good way that I maybe could see myself enjoying and it scares me ok?" Caitlin replied, leaning back on the street lamp pole under the stars.

"What happened? If you just let me in we can figure this out together."

After a few moments of silence Caitlin spoke. " He kissed me Barry, he kissed me in the lab today, except it wasn't him! He looked like someone else.

"Wait so who did he look like when he kissed you?" Barry asked confused.

"He looked like you Barry."

"So he looked like me and he put the moves on you? What did he say?"

"Yes, he said he was doing something he thought we should have done a long time ago, then he spun me around and next thing I know you are kissing me, I mean he was…you know what I mean! Stupid shape shifter." Caitlin muttered.

"I knew it wasn't you though, as soon as he kissed me I just knew it wasn't you. He was very… I don't know, aggressive? He wasn't like you at all, and I knew something was off when he kissed me. I tried to stop him but he kissed me again, except that time I leaned in and kissed him back because I saw your face, and part of me wanted it to be you Barry." Caitlin said turning her head away feeling the blush creep across her face.

"Wow, well you know I would never force myself on you like that right?" Barry said stepping closer to her, but this time she didn't move away.

"I know that, but it just happened so fast, and even with everything going on I could not get my mind off of it. My mind saw your face and body, and my mind wanted it to really be you Barry. I'm sorry," Caitlin said with tears forming in her eyes.

"Well then let's see now… how do I respond to that? Where do I begin? I guess I'll start with this: at first yes I saw you as a friend, I was so busy pining for Iris that I didn't notice this incredible woman right in front of me. The more time I got to spend with you though the more I found myself wanting more than a friendship. The smiles, the looks at each other when we think no one is looking, the playful banter. I felt a spark there Caitlin, one that I never felt with Iris."

Taking her hand under the street lamp as he moved in closer to her, Barry said " I guess he just did what I was afraid to do. I didn't want to ruin our friendship over something that could have been easily one-sided."

Looking down at their hands intertwined Caitlin raised her head to look into Barry's eyes.

"We both didn't know how each other felt, and it's ok to be a little nervous and scared Barry because I'm scared too."

Caitlin squeezed his hand with hers to reassure him of her words.

Smiling Barry replied " Well I guess he was right about one thing."

" Oh? What's that?" Caitlin asked.

Taking his free hand and cupping the side of her face, Barry whispered " I should have done this a long time ago."

As Barry leaned in Caitlin closed her eyes, and met Barry's lips for the first time with her own. It was a slow gentle kiss, his lips slowly parting, going for her upper lip as Caitlin leaned into him and allowed her lips to work his lower lip. From there the kiss was full of excitement and passion, the perfect feelings for their first real kiss. Despite the chance of ruining something, they could feel each other's feelings rushing through each other. The kindness, the excitement, the joy and happiness they both wanted they felt with this kiss.

Pulling away from each other and slowly opening their eyes, they both smiled and laughed, knowing they hadn't ruined anything, but instead had started something wonderful before going in for another kiss.

"That was..."

"Amazing. It was amazing, Caitlin."

"I couldn't have said it any better Mr. Allen."

Both with smiles on their faces and hands clasped together Barry looked at Caitlin and said, " Let's go home Doctor Snow."

" I like the sound of that Mr. Allen."

As the two walked down the path under the evening stars a thought dawned on Barry.

"HEY! That's why you slapped me instead of using the smelling salts isn't it! No fair! It wasn't me!

Author's Notes : Thanks for checking out my story! If you like what you are reading please feel free to give me a review or hit me up on twitter kpolk817. Plz Review/Fav and remember to go check out Caitlin51 on this site!


End file.
